Ok, theres a big question that always pops up which is… “How do I get my ex-girlfriend back?” When I was looking into different book that I could promote and sell on my website, I found that the best-selling relationship books covered this very question of “getting back your ex-girlfriend”… so I thought I’d provide my thoughts on this prominent issue.

The truth is, “getting your ex back” is actually very counter-intuitive… and by that I mean, by chasing your ex and trying to “win her back”, you will come across to her as being very needy, desperate and having low value… and in turn, this will turn her off even FURTHER and destroy any chances of you getting her back as a girlfriend.

The very first step to getting your ex back is to first GET OVER HER. Thats right, it’s probably the last thing on your mind and you may be thinking something along the lines of “How could I EVER get another girl like that?”, but getting over her is something you MUST do.

The most important point here is that you must learn to MOVE ON!

Once you’re ready, the next step is the biggest step of all… and that is to FIND OTHER OPTIONS. That’s right, you MUST start dating other women and provide yourself with other female options. In fact, not ONLY should you date other women, your ex needs to know that you’re dating other women.

Why?

The reason why is because if theres going to be ANY chance of getting your ex back, it will be because she understands that other women WANT you, and she comes to her senses of what shes missing in her life: YOU!

If you play things out correctly, what will end up happening is that SHE chases YOU to get you back… and this is exactly what you want. The thing is, this whole process of getting your ex back may take 2 or 3 months, but obviously it will be very much worth it.

Throughout the process of “getting her back”, if at all possible, it will be best to keep your ex as a “friend” that you keep in contact with occationally. Most important is that you don’t NOT hit on her or make any advances on her. Instead, by showing her that you can attract other women, you will end up with your EX making advances on YOU.

Within the Seduction Community, there is a term known as Pre-Selection. Pre-Selection is a principle of attraction… it says that women want men that other women want. It is a natural tendency for women to become attracted to men that have the ability to attract other women. This “pre-selection” what will allow you to get your ex back.

Let me ask you a question… why do you want a girlfriend?

That’s right… WHY?

Well, let me answer the question for you. As a man, the reason why you want a girlfriend is because you want SEX!

That’s right, I don’t care what you say, I don’t care what you think… SEX is practically the only real reason WHY you want a girlfriend. Secondarily yes, you may want a girlfriend for fun, excitment & meaning in life… but primarily the sole reason WHY you want a girlfriend is to have SEX.

Now… let me ask you another question, WHY is it that you don’t have a girlfriend?

Well, let me answer this question for you also. The BIGGEST reason why you DON’T have a girlfriend is because you’re NOT getting SEX. Yup, that’s what I said… you’re not getting laid, and that’s why you don’t have a girlfriend.

What I mean by this is that when a guy is NOT getting sex, he is prone to becoming sexually frustrated, needy, nervous, socially unconfident and generally thinking that he’s not “worthy” of sex or a girlfriend. As you can imagine, this frame of thinking does NOT allow you to obtain a girlfriend. Period.

Now on the other hand, imagine if you’re getting a lot of casual sex with women on a weekly basis, AND you have a lot of sexual experience. A guy who is getting laid has social confidence, sexual non-neediness, no amount of “frustration” and definately thinks hes “sexually worthy”. Now from this frame of thinking, such a guy will have practically NO trouble getting himself into a long-term relationship.

The Dating Paradox

What I’m doing is pointing out a PARADOX… and that paradox is:

You want a girlfriend BECAUSE you want SEX, but you don’t have a girlfriend BECAUSE you’re NOT GETTING SEX!

Ok, so how do you use this “paradox” to your advantage?

Well let me tell you know, the EASIEST way for you to gain an ABUNDANCE of girlfriends is to learn how to get a lot of CASUAL SEX. To put this another way, the easiest way get a girlfriend is to NOT WANT A GIRLFRIEND… but instead, you should look to do provide casual sex with the women you meet. By providing women with casual sex, getting a girlfriend will become an AFTER THOUGHT.

Now you may be asking… “But how do I get casual sex if I can’t get a girlfriend!?!”

The answer is, once you learn that women are sexual beings and that they WANT sex… providing them with nothing but SEX and NOT relationships becomes an EASY feat.

Let me tell you something…

It is EASIER to have SEX with a girl than it is to get her as a GIRLFRIEND!

That’s right… you’ve probably NEVER heard this before, and you probably WON’T believe this… but it’s TRUE! Another way to think about it is that you should GET sex by going out and GETTING it… you shouldn’t look to GET sex by getting a GIRLFRIEND.

The reason WHY you should get a girlfriend is for the relationship… but that would only be IF the girl is of the personality & looks that you’ve been looking for.

How To Gain Casual Sex

So, to clarify once again, the way to get a girlfriend is to come from the mentality of SEXUAL ABUNDANCE. And in order to gain this sexual abundance, you need to gain casual sex. So the question is, HOW do you get casual sex?

Well in order to gain casual sex, you must first learn to provide women with sex, and NOT provide women with a relationship or “traditional courtship”.

The thing is, before I learned dating science and the art of  seduction, I used to think that the process of getting sex was as follows:

Meet girl -> Get phone number -> Call her several times -> Set up a date -> Go on a date -> Get to know her -> Go on a second date -> Get to know her even MORE ->  Go on a third date -> Get to know her even FURTHER -> Meet at her place or mine -> Have sex

The above is what you could call the “traditional courtship” model.

What I’ve learnt is that I can get sex through the following formula:

Meet girl ->  Show her I’m a sex worthy guy -> Get phone number -> Call her up and say “I’ll come over for coffee” -> Go to her place -> Let it lead to sex

Understand that if you PRESENT yourself to women as being able to “provide” her with SEX, she will be willing to meet up with you ONLY for sex.

In further articles to come, I will show you HOW to become a sex worthy guy and make sex a “normal” part of life so that getting a girlfriend will NEVER be a problem.

One of the biggest problems that guys face when it comes to getting a girlfriend is that the girl that they’re dating puts them in the “Friend” category, instead of the “Boyfriend” category which is where they want to be.

I mean think about it… I’m sure you’ve had this experience, where you LIKE the girl, you’ve known the girl for a while now, you’ve had dreams about her, you’ve thought about what a great couple you’d make… and so one day you decide to bite the bullet and tell her how you feel.

In response, she suddenly gives you any of the following:

• “Umm… I don’t really want a relationship right now, can we just be friends?”
• “You’re a really nice guy but you’re just not my type… I’m so sorry, but we can still be friends”
• “Oh my god… I didn’t know you had feelings for me, I always thought you were a great friend”
• “Thats so sweet, but we have such a great friendship and I don’t want to ruin it”

Within the seduction community, we call this “Lets Just Be Friends” or LJBF for short.

In order to improve your skills with women, you MUST learn to stay out of this dreaded “Friend Zone” with women… because once she’s placed you in the “friend” category, it will be very difficult to get her as a girlfriend.   So how do we make sure that we stay out of the “Friend Zone”?

The method to staying out of the “Friend Zone” starts from the moment you meet the girl, where from early on, you must show your SEXUAL interest in her… yup thats right, you must learn to “hit” on her.

One of the biggest complaints that women have is that men don’t tell them what they want. Most men are too busy wondering if a girl “likes” them instead of plucking up the courage to simply say “I think you’re sexy”.

You must understand that girls WANT sexual pleasure and so you must show them that you can provide it… and let her know that you’re there to be more than just her “buddy”. In order to show your sexual interest in a girl, it involves the following:

Sexualizing The Conversation

Sexualizing the conversation is all about bringing in sexual or relationship elements into the conversation without necessarily being overtly explicit or sleezy. At the end of the day, all you’re doing is showing your interest in the girl… and when she shows interest back, it’s called flirting.

The best way to sexualize the conversation is to add sexual elements along with humor at the same time. By joking around sexually, you’re keeping the conversation fun and exciting while getting her sexually attracted to you.

Take any of the following humorous & non-humorous lines:

• Hey you’re really cute
• Well, I think you’re pretty sexy
• Hey I like your sexy shirt
• Look, I know you can’t resist me… I’m charming… I can’t help it
• Did you know if you kiss me you’ll remain young forever?
• You’re German? No way! You Germans are just sex mad, you’re out on the prowl tonight aren’t you? I’m serious, you guys go out with your flashlight looking for guys.
• You know what, you’re cute, you get to be my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes.

Does this mean that everything that comes out of your mouth must be sexual or showing interest in the girl? NO! Simply saying a few lines of sexual dialogue and showing interest will place your INTENTIONS clearly in her mind.

At the end of the day, what you’re ultimately doing is you’re FILTERING out the girls that don’t want to have sex with you… because you seriously don’t want to be chasing girls that have no sexual interest in you in the first place!

How much sexualized dialogue to use when you’re communicating with women will totally depend upon your personality… you will have to find your own balance of using sexual & non-sexual lines of dialogue.

Using Sexual Body Language

Using body language to stay out of the “Friend Zone” is HUGE.

One big element is eye contact… prolonged eye contact to signal your interest in a girl is vital. But an even bigger element is TOUCH. Let me tell you know, women LOVE to be touched… and by learning to touch women is probably the EASIEST way to let a girl know your interest in her.

Within the seduction community, touch is known as “kino“ which is short for kinaesthetic.

When it comes to touching a girl, or giving Kino, you must learn to make touching a “part” of the conversation. The second rule to learn is that you must start with light “social” touching before advancing to more heavier, more sexual touching. This “advancement” in touching from light to heavy is known as “kino escalation”

The following would be a rough guide showing how to advance from “touching her arm” to “holding her for a makeout”:

1. Touching her arm
2. Putting your hand on her shoulder
3. Putting your arm around her shoulders
4. Putting your arm around her waist
5. Putting your hand on her thigh (when you’re sitting down)
6. Holding her hand
7. Touching her face
8. Kissing her
9. Holding her for a makeout

Just to give you an example of how to implement kino into your conversation, take a look at the following examples:

• “No way! Are you kidding me!” (touch her arm)
• “It’s ok, I feel your pain” (hand on her shoulder)
• “Yeah, you cool… you get a gold star” (hand on her thigh)
• “Here, come join me!” (grab her hand)

The above list from 1 to 9 is not an exact science but you must understand you need to start with the “light” touching with a girl before the “heavier” touching.

Most importantly, when you’re on a date, if you’ve been touching her arm, holding her hand, touching her face thoughout the date, then kissing her at the end of the night will not be a big deal. BUT, if thoughout the whole date you have not touched her at all, kissing her at the end of the night will be VERY uncomfortable.

Other great kino tactics to use with women are hi-fives, hugs, dance “twirls” (making her twirl), as well as a whole heap of others.

NOTE: I’d like to thank Willis for his request for advice regarding getting “how out of the Friend Zone with women”. This article is in response to his email request. For answers to any questions you may have regarding dating and seduction, feel free to email me at conrad@getagirlfriend.ws.

And that one word is… EXPERIENCE.

Experience with women comes from getting into interactions & getting into relationships. The more experience you have with women, the greater success you will have with women… and this is especially true when it comes to sustaining long-term relationships.

The reason why I bring this up is that most guys that have very little skills with women typically think the following: “The next relationship I get into… she will be the ONE, she will be the ONE girl that I need for the rest of my life”.

The fact is, if you lack the proper skills with women, you will eventually fail with EVERY girl you get into a relationship with… yes thats right, EVERY girl.

You must understand that depending upon who you are, it will take numerous short-term relationships before you will have the skills to sustain a commited long-term relationship… and you must also LEARN to develop yourself with every short-term relationship, or else you will keep making the same relationship mistakes.

There is one quality that will eventually put an end to every relationship if you don’t have it under control, and this quality is NEEDINESS.

Neediness is the element of needing the other person… and needing the other person too much will result in the following actions when you’re in a relationship:

• Calling her too much
• Getting jealous when she’s talking to other guys
• Expressing your feelings for her too much too early (thinking it will deepen the relationship)
• NOT continuing to stimulate her emotions by teasing and making fun of her (fearing it will end the relationship)
• NOT calling a girl out on her mis-behaviours (fearing it will end the relationship)
• Letting the girl control the relationship (thinking it will prolong the relationship)

Practically every guy in the world will start off exibiting a LOT of neediness if they’ve been in very few relationship. But with every relationship that you get into, as long as you learn from every relationship, you will be able to slowly rid the neediness that you exibit, until eventually you’ll find the perfect balance to sustain a commited long-term relationship.

Just to give you an example, I remember with the first relationships I got into, they ended due a result of too much neediness. I remember telling one girl “I love you” after just a couple of weeks… and her giving me that weird look.

Slowly other the course of mutiple relationships, I learnt to sustain a long-term relationship by projecting a balance of both wanting her & showing affection (neediness), and NOT wanting her & teasing (independence), as well as a balance between letting her control the relationship (a result of neediness), and YOU controling the relationship (a result of independence).

At the end of the day, in order to learn how to sustain healthy long-term relationships, you must first look to get into as many short-term relationships as you can, where you learn to develop yourself as a man at every one.

So I’m sitting at the managers desk, waiting for him to get off his phone and interview me, and I noticed several women eyeing me down… and I could tell that there was one particular girl who wanted to approach me, which she did.

Well, she didn’t really “approach” me per say, but she did do the typical thing that women do when they’re interested in a guy. She created an “excuse” to come near me, hoping that I’d start a conversation with her. In this instance, her “excuse” to come near me was that she has a question for the manager.

Before going to the manager, she made eye contact with me and said “Hi”… so sure enough, I opened her and started a conversation with my usual cheeky comments.

*****

Conrad: “So, you the hot-shot sales person round here?”

Her: “Haha, me? no!”

Conrad: “You’ve got a accent… that’s gotta help with the sales you know”

Her: “Yeah I wish”

*****

As you can imagine, just by looking good, acting confident, and throwing a couple lines of cheeky dialogue, I had her attracted to me… and THAT’S how simple it can be.

The funny thing was, I could tell that she was very nervous, and she was lacking in her social skills… which reminded me of exactly how I used to be when I first started out approaching women.

All she could muster up for adding to her side of the conversation was something along the lines of:

*****

Her: “So which recruitment agency are you going through?”

*****

It was SUCH a predictable question (since everyone at the company went through a recruitment agency). She may as well have asked “So are you here for an interview?” or “Where are you from?” or any other commonly asked question. In fact, her workmates who were watching the situation and seeing her hit on me called out the answer for her.

Now there’s nothing wrong with asking predictable questions but in order to develop your social communication skills, you must learn to input conversation thats fun, exciting, unexpected, and away from the NORM.

Well, if you don’t have a girlfriend, then you’re probably because you’re a nice guy.

Unfortunately in the dating world, nice guys DO come last. The thing about being a nice guy is that you’ll typically always end up in the “friend zone” with a girl, while the badboys go around sleeping with whichever girls they want.

The biggest mistake that nice guys make is that they’re ALWAYS giving women want and ask for. For example, when a girl asks for a drink the nice guy happily buys. When a girl complains the nice guy happily apologizes. When a girl makes an insult, the nice guy laughs it off and doesn’t do anything. When a girl cancels a date, the nice guy doesn’t mind and says “maybe next time”. The typical nice guy places beautiful women on a pedistal, worships them, and becomes their slave for their every beck and call. By doing this, nice guys are shooting themselves in the foot by placing themselves in the “wussy” category of men… and it’s no wonder they don’t get laid!

The thing is, women will always mistreat you or try to change you… and this is not because women are mean or bad, women do this because they need men that are STRONG and can withstand their personality. The problem with  nice guys is that they typically allow themselves to be mistreated or influenced by women, and this projects weakness.

The higher in value that a girl “thinks” she is, the more she will test you and mistreat you to find out your level of social strength. As a MAN, it is your responsibility to make sure that you’re not mistreated, changed or manipulated.

And what is the best way to make sure you’re NOT manipulated, mistreated or changed?

Well, let me tell you now, you need to learn to test HER social strength and mistreat HER, this way you place yourself in the position of “strength” and her in the position of “weakness”. You must understand though, that when I say “mistreat” a girl, I’m not talking about it from a negative point of view, I’m talking about mistreating her for HER BENEFIT, because this way, she gets someone with a lot of social strength or someone with MORE social strength than she has (which is what she’s looking for in the first place). “Mistreating women” is the badboy characteristic that women NEED in a man (even though they won’t agree to it). So what sort of mistreatment am I talking about?

How about doing any of the following:

• Teasing her
• Making fun of her
• Telling her off when she deserves it
• Disagreeing with her
• Not apologizing to her
• Getting her to run errands for you
• Getting her to do you favors
• Getting the girl to invest more effort, time and money in the relationship than YOU are investing
• Not accepting any “excuses” and persisting until she agrees to: meet with you, kiss you, dance with you, have sex with you, etc.
• Delayed action when she asks something from you, or not giving at all
• Not giving in to her demands
• Talking over her
• Not answering her questions

NOTE: When I say “mistreat” a girl, I’m not talking about cheating on her or physically beating her because thats just absurd.

The question is, can you go too far with this “mistreating women” thing? Well of course you can.

When you start out learning to attract & seduce women, going too far with mistreating women is actually something you MUST experience… it’s really part of the process of becoming a sex worthy guy.

When you do go too far with mistreating women, you may get called “asshole” or “jerk”, but  what you’ll learn is that mistreating women actually CREATES attraction… and once you’ve learnt to go too far with mistreating women, you can learn to tone it back, and balance the mistreatment with kindness, respect and “neutral” communication.

I’ll say it again, learning to mistreat women and going too far with teasing and being an asshole is a process that ALL guys go through on their journey to becoming great with women… until you’ve gone through this process, you’ll never learn how to create and sustain attraction.

One of the biggest mistakes that guys make is that they MISS the opportunities when they arise, simply due to not having the GUTS to take advantage of the opportunity or by not seeing the opportunity in the first place.

And what sort of opportunities am I talking about?

Well, what about the following:

• When a girl makes eye contact with you for a longer period than usual… wanting you to approach her
• When a girl lingers a little longer with you before joining her friends… wanting you to take her phone number
• When a girl stares longingly into your eyes… expecting you to make a move and kiss her
• When a girl takes a little more effort than usual to express her personality to you… wanting you to pick up on it and show interest in her
• When a girl comes near you or “accidentally” bumps you… wanting you to start a conversation with her
• When a girl alludes to getting sexual with you in her conversation… wanting you to get sexual

The list of “opportunities” that women provide are ENDLESS… and once again, it is your JOB as a man to take advantage of them.

The thing is, when you DO take advantage of opportunities that women provide, it shows her that you have the DOMINANCE and STRENGTH to be her mate… and this is what women are looking for.

At the end of the day, in order to NEVER miss an opportunity with women, you must learn to consistently be doing one thing, and that is… ALWAYS BE CLOSING.

And what do I mean by that?

Well, what you want to do is develop your skills and personality so that you’re ALWAYS taking the actions to advance a relationship with a girl at every chance you get… this is what “closing” is.

And to “always be closing”,  you should be looking at taking any of the following actions whenever you can:

• Starting conversations whenever a girl is near you
• Approach every girl you see that takes your fancy
• Ask a girl for her phone number if you’ve been talking to her for more than 5 minutes
• Close in for a kiss or “announcing” you’re going to kiss her whenever you get intimate with a girl
• Ask a girl out for a drink every friday night
• Call & txt different girls every day
• Invite girls to join you to a different bar
• Get a girl to sit or dance with you if you guys are just talking at the bar
• Touch a girl (e.g. hold her hand, touch her arm, touch her fact)
• Pull a girl away from her friends and isolate her
• Invite a girl home with you
• Initiate sex with a girl

There are many small actions you can take to further a relationship with a girl.  By developing your personality so that you’re constantly chatting to girls, constantly approaching them, constantly asking for their phone numbers, or in other words you’re constantly CLOSING… what you’ll find is that you’ll NEVER miss an opportunity whenever they arrise.

There is one very important note to make here, and that is the fact that you should be taking the above “actions” for the EDUCATIONAL purposes… and NOT for the outcome.

What does that mean you say?

What I means is that you should constantly be approaching women, talking to them, asking for their phone numbers and going for the kiss… for nothing other than the EXPERIENCE of doing it, and you don’t care what the outcome is.

So shouldn’t care whether a girl likes you or not once you’ve approached her, and you shouldn’t care if a girls say “yes” or “no” once you’ve asked for her number, and you shouldn’t care whether she accepts your kiss or not. The thing is, it’s all a learning experience, and by trying different ways to approach her, ask for her phone number, go for the kiss, etc… you will eventually find the methods that work for YOU.

This is probably the biggest challenge that most guys have when it comes to interacting with women, but once you’ve mastered the art of approaching women and starting interactions, you will achieve a whole new level of female “abundance” that you never thought possible.

Once you can easily start conversations with women, you’ll find that you’re not STUCK with the 5 or 6 girlfriend “prospects” that you know through your social circle, work collegues or martial arts class. Once you’ve mastered the approach, all you have to do to obtain a date is to literally approach a bunch of women, get them attracted, and close for the phone number… and sure, you can practially guarantee yourself a date for the weekend. Anytime, anywhere… the opportunities are endless.

The reality of the matter is, when it comes to talking to women, what you say to START the conversation doesn’t really matter… as long as you BELIEVE in what you say.

You could walk up to a girl and say “Hi!”, or you could compliment her on her style, or you could ask her for the time… it doesn’t really matter as long as you say SOMETHING.

Understand that in reality, the emphasis should not be on what you say to start the conversation, but the emphasis should be on what you say next… that’s right, what will make or break your ability to succeed with women will be your ability to KEEP TALKING after you have started a conversation with her.

Now, there are “pre-scripted” lines that you can learn to start conversations, and when I started off learning to approach women, I started by using these scripted “openers” but I’ll cover them in a separate article.

Start a Conversation By Being Observant

So what’s the best way to start a conversation with a girl?

Well, the best way is to be observant… that’s right, the best thing to do is to be aware of  your surroundings and make a comment on something you notice.

So for example, I was at the shoe store the other day and I started a conversation with a shop attendant girl with the following:

*****

Conrad: “Hey you guys have no shelving here…”

Shop Attendant: “Yeah”

Conrad: “No way… you guys aren’t just being lazy?… thought you’d chuck the shoes on the floor”

Shop Attendant: “Haha… no way, the shops actually shutting down.”

*****

Now in the above example, I started by making a simple comment on the fact that the shoe store had no shelving (as all the shoes were stacked up on the floor). Now I could have made a different comment regarding the store, or I could have commented on something she was wearing, or I could have mentioned how she looked really tired, or I could have commented on something that was going on outside.

The actual COMMENT that I made was not important, but what was important was what I did AFTER I made the comment. You may have noticed that after starting the conversation, I instantly turned it fun & exciting by joking around, teasing her and making fun of the situation… THIS is what you want to learn.

The most important aspect of talking to women is in being able to turn a conversation fun and exciting AFTER you have started the conversation with her. I have written several articles on this topics of making a conversation fun & exciting, and I would highly recommend you read them.

Once you’ve mastered the skills of keeping a conversation going by making it fun & exciting, you’ll find that doesn’t matter what you say to start the conversation off… you’ll be able to rely on your mental faculties to come up with the rest of the conversation.

Related Articles

• How To Instantly Turn A Conversation Fun And Exciting
• How To Captivate Women With Conversation

What I’m about to give you is my interpretation of how I go about approaching women and effectively taking her home at the end of the night. It certainly isn’t an EXACT formula, but it’s a starting ground for you to understand how a successful seduction works over the course of a night.

This is a formula that I’ve come up with from going out every weekend for several years on end. The following information applies to approaching random women at bars and nightclubs during the night… but the same formula can be adapted to meeting women during the day.

So, without further ado here is the step-by-step formula:

1. Approach

So you’re at the bar with your mates, and you’re there to meet women. Well, the first and foremost thing that you must do is approach women and open up a conversation.

At the end of the day, there are various different ways to open a conversation with a girl, but for now, just understand that you must first approach women and say something. This is of vast importance… if you don’t approach, you don’t play. You can read all the information you want, but if you don’t approach the girl, you won’t get her. The biggest problem that most guys run into is that THEY DON’T APPROACH… in fact, over 90% of guys don’t approach. And when I say “approach women”, in order to gain consistant improvement, you should be looking at approaching at least 3 to 5 women a day… the question is, how badly do you want a girlfriend?

So what should you say in order to start a conversation once you’ve approached her? Well at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what you say, but there are “pre-scripted” things that you can memorise in order to make things easy.  I’ve already written several posts on this topic, and the very next post will be covering this exact topic so watch out for it.

2. Attract

After approaching comes attract. Straight after approaching a girl or group of girls, you want to create enough attraction so that you reach whats known as the “hook point”.

The Hook Point is where you’ve created enough attraction for the girls to like you enough to not mind if you stay. You can think of reaching Hook Point as “getting your foot in the door” so to speak, and so it’s not that big a deal.

The thing is, creating attraction is NOT ROCKET SCIENCE… and reaching hook point isn’t hard either. When it comes to reaching Hook Point, we’re not talking about creating SO much attraction that the girls are madly in love with you (that comes later)… but the objective here is to create just enough attraction so that the girls enjoy your company.

So how long does it take to reach hook point?

The answer is, not long at all… its usually within the first 2 minutes of conversation. At the end of the day, women will decide if you’re someone they can sleep with within the first 30 seconds of meeting you.

When I say that creating attraction isn’t rocket science,  all a guy has to do to create attraction is:

1. Look his best
2. Give off a dominant vibe (vocal projection & tone, stance, body language, etc.)
3. Throw out a few witty, teasing or funny lines & responses.

3. Vibe

After the first two steps, you’ve managed to engage a girl or girls into a conversation and have them enjoy your company (for now at least).

The next step is VIBE, or better known as vibing. Think of vibing as “high-flying conversation”… where all you’re doing is using conversation to create a fun and enjoyable atmosphere or “vibe” with the person you’re talking to. Think of vibing as ordinary conversation but with emotional stimulation.

You may remember from a previous article where I talked about Emotional Communication - the language of emotional stimulation. Emotional Communication is what you use when you’re vibing.

To give a concrete example of what “vibing” is… think back to a time when you had fun with your mates… by doing nothing but talking. What were you doing? Well, let me tell you… you were joking around, poking fun at each other, “shooting the shit” as they say. THIS is what “vibing” is.

In further articles to come, I will give you examples of how vibing works with a girl.

The whole point of vibing with a girl is to reach Cling Point. This  is where you’re providing so much fun and emotional stimulation that for the time being, the girl discards ALL other possiblities of other potential partners… and chooses YOU as THE ONE. It is called the “Cling Point” because this is where the girls literally clings to you… you could say that she’s in love with you… FOR THE MOMENT.

4. Bounce

Once you have reached “Cling Point” with a girl, the next step is the Bounce. And no, “Bounce” does not mean bouncing the girl like a basketball… to bounce or bouncing is the act of moving from bar to bar (described as “bouncing” from bar to bar). So, to “bounce” a girl basically means taking her with you to different locations throughout the night such as to a different bar or nightclub, getting something to eat, back to your place for a party, etc. You can also “bounce” a girl within a bar or nightclub… for example from upstairs to downstairs or vis versa.

The whole reason for bouncing a girl is because the act of going to different places together actually DISTORTS time… and for her, it creates a false sense of having known you for a long time. So, when you take a girl to two or three different locations throughout an evening, afterwards she will feel like you guys have been friends for a lot longer than you have.

You must understand that in order to be able to bounce a girl to a difference location, you must first reach “Cling Point”… because by reaching Cling Point, she will “cling” to you and will be willing to go with you.

If you initially approached a group of girls, you will need to “bounce” the whole group which actually is not as difficult as it sounds… but in order to do so, you will need to befriend the whole group first.

If the group you approached is fairly large, what will typically happen is that the girl you have attracted will invite you along with them, which is fantastic.

5. Isolate

After the Bounce comes Isolate, which is the act of isolating the girl… or in other words, ”getting her alone”. In order to get sexual with a girl, getting her alone to a more intimate location is VITAL. When I say “intimate location”, it could mean on a couch at the bar, on your bed at home or anywhere else where you can be comfortable, close to her and have an intimate conversation.

You will typically always find women at bars and nightclubs hanging around with at least one other friend… hardly ever are they alone.

The reason why getting her alone is vital is because a girl will feel UNCOMFORTABLE getting sexual in front of her friends in fear of being labeled “slutty” or “horny”. By getting her alone, it will make it that much easier to make-out with her, get her thinking about sex (which is the next step) and making plans for her to come home with you.

If you initially approached a girl that was by herself, then obviously there will be no need to isolate her, though in such case you would still want to extract her to a more intimate location.

Sometimes even if she was with her friends, the girl will choose to isolate herself from her friends just to be with you, or her friends will choose to allow to you to be alone with her… either way, you really need to befriend her friends first.

Working alone at the bar in order to approach groups of women can be an ordeal if you have no one helping you… this is where the “wingman” comes in.

The true purpose of having a wingman is so that once you have engaged a group of two women, you wingman can “occupy” one of the friends while you isolate the other friend for a more intimate conversation. When you are opening a group of two women alone… if can be difficult to isolate just the one girl while the other girl hangs out by herself (but there are tactics to get around problem).

6. Sexualize

Sexualize is the sixth and final step. Once you have isolated her, it will be time to sexualize. Most people think that in order to “seduce” a girl, it’s all about doing nothing but getting sexual… well nothing could be further from the truth. In reality, seduction doesn’t work that way. How seduction works is that a girl must first be ATTRACTED to you and TRUST you before she is willing to get SEXUAL with you.

As you may have guessed, the first 5 steps are all about building ATTRACTION and TRUST. The easiest way to look at it is that you must first become her FRIEND and POTENTIAL PARTNER before becoming her LOVER.

What you’ll find is that if you’ve played it well and you’ve created significant attraction with a girl, SHE will voluntarily start sexualizing the conversation or allude to her having sex with you.

In order to get sexual with a girl and make her horny, the easiest and best way to do this is to literally introduce sexual words into the conversation. What happens when you introduce sexual words is that the girl will start THINKING of sex. You don’t have to allude to “you having sex with her”, nor does she have to accept or agree with what you say sexually … all you have to do is refer to sex in the conversation, and it will make her think of having it.

The whole point of the Sexualize step is basically to get the girl READY to go home with you, and if you have done things correctly, you will be able invite for home and let it lead to sex.

In further posts to come, I will explain each and ever step in greater detail.

Related Articles

• The Four Steps To Get A Girlfriend
• How To Approach Women And Start Conversations

Do you have a hard time socializing and letting go of your inhibitions?

Well, you know what… I had the worst case of it. I grew up in a typically SERIOUS family, with big GOALS, ASPIRATIONS and things that had to get done. Most of the discussions around the family table were serious debates and included lots of facts and figures… in fact the biggest topic discussed at the dinner table was BUSINESS and MAKING MONEY.

Now there nothing wrong with being serious, and theres nothing wrong with having a good debate… and theres certainly nothing wrong with having goals (in fact goals are a big part of my life, so should they be in yours).

BUT… and it’s a big “BUT”… the problem with being serious is that it’s the exact OPPOSITE of socializing and having fun… and the better you are at socializing, the easier it will be for you to obtain a girlfriend and develop your social circle.

What you’re doing when you’re being serious is that you’re placing MEANING and PURPOSE to all your thoughts, actions and words… and this typically equates to judging, worrying and analyzing… being serious is great for when you’re working, but NOT for when you’re trying to have “fun” and pick up women.

When you are being SOCIAL or talking to women, you need to be the exact opposite of serious… which is being FUN. And when are you fun?

Well you’re being fun when you’re joking around, being sarcastic, teasing, being stupid, exaggerating a situation… or in other words, you’re fun when you’re NOT MEANING anything and there is NO PURPOSE other than to enjoy the moment.

Up until a couple of years ago, I had a hard time joking around, let go of being serious and “having fun”… and this had a negative effect on my ability to socialize and get a girlfriend. If you’re having the same problems, you MUST learn to let go of your need to be right, and learn to live in the moment and “socialize” yourself by having fun in social situations.

I have already covered this in several articles, but in further articles to come, I will show you what’s involved with “socializing” yourself… which is really a matter of having fun whenever you’re talking to someone, something which I call SOCIAL VALUE ADDING by using EMOTIONAL COMMUNICATION.

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